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Eleven Steps to Becoming an Effective Soccer Parent.
The role
that parents play in the life of a soccer player has a tremendous impact on
their experience. With this in mind, here are some helpful reminders for all
of us as we approach the upcoming season. If you should have any questions
about these thoughts, please feel free to discuss it with Alliance coaches.
- Let the coaches coach: Leave the coaching to
the coaches. This includes motivating, psyching your child for practice,
after game critiquing, setting goals, requiring additional training, etc.
You have entrusted the care of your player to the coaches and they need to
be free to do their job. If a player has too many coaches, it is confusing
for him or her and performance usually declines.
- Support the program: Get involved. Volunteer.
Help out with fundraisers, car-pool; anything to support the program.
Call Andrew McKnight (325-1110) and ask about how you can become a “Friend
of the Alliance”.
- Be your child's biggest fan: Support your
child unconditionally. Do not withdraw love when your child performs
poorly. Your child should never have to perform to win your love.
- Support and root for all players on the team:
Foster teamwork. Your child's teammates are not the enemy. When
they are playing better than your child, your child has been given a
wonderful opportunity to learn.
- Do not bribe or offer incentives: Your job is
not to motivate. Leave this to the coaching staff. Bribes will
distract your child from properly concentrating in practice and game
situations. As coaches, we want the kids to learn small group concepts in
addition to individual concepts. Your child needs to learn how to self
motivate, and it is the coaches job to foster this thinking.
- Encourage your child to talk with the coaches:
If your child is having difficulties in practice or games, or can't make a
practice, etc., encourage them to speak directly to the coaches.
This "responsibility taking" is a big part of becoming a big-time player.
By handling the off-field tasks, your child is claiming ownership of all
aspects of the game - preparation for as well as playing the game.
- Understand and display appropriate game behavior:
Remember, your child's self esteem and game performance is at stake. Be
supportive, cheer, and be appropriate. To perform to the best of his or
her abilities, a player needs to focus on the parts of the game that they
can control (fitness, positioning, decision making, skill, and
aggressiveness). If he or she starts focusing on what can’t be controlled
(the condition of the field, the referee, the weather, the opponent, even
the outcome of the game at times), he or she will not play up to his or
her ability.
- Help your child keep priorities straight:
Help your child maintain a focus on schoolwork, relationships and the
other things in life beside soccer. Also, if your child has made a
commitment to soccer, help him fulfill his obligation to the team.
- Reality test: If your child has come off the
field when his team has lost, but he has played his best, help him to
redefine his concept of winning. Remind him that he is to focus on "the
process" and not "the results". Fun and satisfaction should be derived
from "striving to win". Conversely, he should be as satisfied from success
that occurs despite inadequate preparation and performance.
- Keep soccer in its proper perspective: Soccer
should not be larger than life for you. If your child's performance
produces strong emotions in you, suppress them. Remember your relationship
will continue with your children long after their competitive
soccer days are over. Keep your goals and needs separate from your
child's experience.
- Have fun: That is what we will be trying to
do! We will try to challenge your child to reach past their "comfort
level" and improve themselves as a player, and hopefully, as a person.
We will attempt to do this in environments that are fun, free from
pressure, and fit for kids.
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